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By: Feign~

______
I am sorry that most of my life
my head and my heart
were so influenced by noise
I did not know how to quiet it
the world around me was loud
the world surrounding me was a crowd
holding up big signs
“get love””pay the price””don’t blow it”
“play by the rules”
I believed with my all
that the unloved may as well be dead
shouts of my own derision
coupled with the noises of normalcy
piiercingly loud
.
I made choices I am not proud of
in the name of “love”
I knelt at the altar of a family
gathered at the table
all units in place.
.
Lo and behold, the wrong man
said the right words
I overlooked the wrongs
small payment for the words
“I love you”
.
Now, sitting on a quiet beach
if you were to hear all the years
of anger, regret, dishonesty, sadness, disillusionment
you would understand well
why I don’t want to talk
It took so long to cast out the noise
it interrupted the silence touch of your hand
the surety of a quiet love
not normal at all
cannot be bought
.
Feign